Thanksgiving

On this Thanksgiving I find that I have much to be thankful for despite what the fates have thrown at me this year. Through all this adversity, there have been many wonderful revelations and experiences. So, I would like to take the time to acknowledge the ones that come to mind right off the bat.

First, I have to give thanks for my family, loved ones and friends. These are the people that have literally carried me through my toughest times. They have been there when I needed help at a doctor’s office with an extra set of ears. They have been there during chemo, and helped me through the its side effects. They have also been there through surgery and the joy of recovery from it. Now they are helping me through radiation. I love each and every one of you. Thanks!

I also must give thanks for my colleagues. These are the folks that have filled in for me at work and have made it possible for me to convalesce without worries. These folks have taken on added responsibilities without my asking, but rather at their insistence when I announced my cancer adventure. Thanks!

My fellow coaches deserve my gratitude! My son, Stephen and Steve Patterson made sure that the “Greatest 4th, 5th, & 6th Grade Gils Soccer Team” were able to continue in my absence without missing a beat. In fact, they had a better record without me there than with me attending and coaching. Way to go coaches. Thanks!

I want to express my thanks to my kids who have adjusted to these crazy times that have been forced on us. Fortunately they are thriving through this, which helps keep the number of my worries down. Thanks!

I must express gratitude to all my physicians. Their knowledge, dedication, and encouragement along with their honesty has helped me through this medical experience and I’m sure has saved my life. Thanks!

Lastly, I want to give thanks for all that I have learned & discovered this year. This year will probably go down as one of the most trying and toughest of my life. However it is also one of the greatest learning experiences of my life also. I have learned much about meeting challenges, about patience, about friendship, and adversity. I have learned that no person is an island, and many times we do not face challenges alone. I have learned that a well timed hug is worth its weight in gold. I have also learned of how many friends that I have, and it’s a great deal more than I thought. I have learned that with the right attitude you can overcome most limitations. I have learned that prayer, best wishes, and offers of help truly generate positive energy that one can feel. I have learned that I have helped others by sharing my cancer adventure openly. I have learned that there are many following along with my adventure, and that I love the comments to this blog. I have learned that I can get through a lot and still not loose hope, but rather keep my spirits high. I have learned that there are times I feel low and that others are there to pick me up. I have learned the fun of rediscovering simple things, like the joy of foods that I enjoy.

Through all this learning, the one thing that has been confirmed is the credo of this blog … Life is Good!

So for all this and so much more, I must give thanks and a big fat smile!

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

One Down, 24 To Go

So I had my very first radiation treatment today. It is quite the experience. Essentially the whole thing feels like a production line. It is efficient in process, and they keep the patients coming and going as if you were getting a spray-on tan at a very popular tanning salon. The routine starts with checking in using a scanner. I was issued a card last week with my individualized bar code, which upon scanning puts my name in the cue for having arrived. I do have a daily time (9:50 in the morning) as my appointment. After checking in, I head over to the locker room where I change into a hospital gown (fortunately I get to keep my pants on so as to avoid mooning the masses). Then I get to sit in the locker room waiting area until summoned by the mysterious voice over the loudspeaker. Next up, the waiting area just outside the radiation room. At this facility there are 2 radiation rooms, and thus 2 teams of technicians. I am working with the Alpha team (or more commonly known as the A-Team, although I haven't seen Mr. T as of yet). When the patient before me is finished, I get to step in and get situated on the table. While I am lying on the table, the technicians move my body about to align it correctly so that the radiation beams will hit the target area correctly. My job is to lie perfectly still for the next 10 minutes or so. Pretty tough stuff but somebody has to do it! After alignment, the machine takes over. It hit me with radiation from my front side, then my back side, and the lastly from my left side. Upon finishing, I get up, head out and get changed back into the rest of my cloths and head on on my way. That's about it!

Well that's not everything completely. Here's a couple of observations from a first timer.

I had a bit of an ironic event as I was set to go in for my 1st ever radiation treatment. The lady who had just gotten her treatment before me was coming out of the radiation room all smiles. It seems she had just completed her last treatment and was dancing a jig. I'll be there soon, just 24 more of these to go (with one more chemo week in there too).

Just before I was to get my first dosage, the technician told me that I wouldn't feel a thing. Great news considering some of the things I have felt during this cancer adventure. Well she was almost right. Upon the radiation starting, I did feel a pretty different sort of sensation. It was like my entire body was next to a wool sweater in the dead of winter, and the static electricity cause my hair to stand on end. Very weird feeling indeed. So as I was walking out, the same tech asked how it went. I told her about the sensation and her response was to say that that was quite out of the ordinary. Well, at least I get to say that I'm special in my own way yet again.

So my road to health continues and radiation is now a part of my life experiences and will be for a while. I guess we'll get to see where this treatment takes me. Should be interesting!

More Fun with Food

Ahh, the joy of trying foods that I have loved in the past!

I have been craving Sushi for months now. So last night, on the way to see what was later deemed the worst movie ever, Lori & I had the occasion to go to a Korean Barbecue restaurant that I have frequented before. We went with the idea of getting some beef ,and indeed we did have the marinated prime rib (which was very good). We have had some good Sushi there before, so we ordered a few yellow tail tuna sashimi pieces. It was to be another experiment in my world of food exploration. We decided to go with sashimi so that I could easily eat the fish meat without ingesting the carbo-filled rice, thus avoiding a rather unpleasant evening. We mixed soy sauce with wasabi for dipping and then marinated the yellow tail. Finally after months of craving, I was able to taste the much desired sashimi. Well, the culinary delight was fantastic! I loved each and every piece that I ate.

At the end of our feast the restaurant has a tradition of bringing an orange slice for each guest at the table as a means to cleanse their palette. Oranges are another favorite that I have avoided because I have not wanted to ingest too much citrus acid. However I love oranges too. So, throwing caution to the wind, I had a piece (wow, daring or what?!?!?). Well, all I can say is fantastic. It tasted great!

The entire meal simply brought joy to me, and I definitely will be doing this again.

So as I'm about to embark on radiation therapy, and my trepidation going in to another treatment that I have no experience with, I'm glad to say that some of the fun things are slowly coming back. What else is there to say but ... Life is Good!

Ethel has Left Me Again

She's gone again!

One more chemo therapy week completed. So far it hasn't gone too badly although I feel a bit worn out right now. On the good side, I'm not in a fetal position and I am somewhat coherent (some may question of I can actually make that claim on a normal day). So now starts a recovery process, which hopefully won't take too long. So the second-to-last chemo session is done. Only one more to go!

On to radiation, which is now set to begin on Nov 24. The next event!

Today (Weds of Chemo Week)

Its Wednesday of Chemo Week and so far things are going OK. As of this morning the side effects are minimal and I hoping this continues (knock on wood). In the past, Wednesday of Chemo Week was usually the pivotal day when I'd start to sink into the abyss. We'll see how this goes. Keep your fingers crossed.

Some more good news as of yesterday.

You may recall that when I was in the hospital, after the main surgery, a blood clot was discovered in the right side of my body. As a result, I have been on a blood thinner ever since called Lovenox. It is administered by a subcutaneous injection. Yep, also known as a shot, and I've said many times that I'm a shot wimp! Well to add to the joy of this, I had to administer these shots to myself twice a day (a real daily highlight). So here's the good news. I have successfully made the transition form Lovenox to Coumadin, a blood thinner taken orally. Yep, pills instead of shots! You talk about a reason for celebration. No more needles, no more wiping skin with alcohol swabs, no more pinching skin together for a target area, no more bruising and sores where the needle has gone in so many times, no more needle anxiety. Yippee!

Its these little victories that can feel so good at times. Life just keeps getting better!

Good Chemo News

Today's chemo went well & so far this evening I'm doing well. Hopefully this will continue (yeah....sure)!

Today there was also some good news. Instead of three rounds of post surgical chemo, I will only have to endure two rounds. I guess they're cutting my sentence for good behavior. Yipee! Thus, I should be done with this chemo nastiness at about the same time as radiation will end. That will be mid-December, so I'll be recovered enough to enjoy Christmas. Pretty good huh?!?!?!

The world just keeps getting better!

Event(s) and Discovery

Tomorrow starts the fun again! Chemo happens, Cisplatnum goes in, Ethel comes back, and my family & friends have signed up yet again to help me out. As Toby says, "Take it one event at a time!" So the next event is chemo.

The respite that I just had from fighting and feeling like kaka, thus allowing me to just focus on recovery was indeed great! I had time to enjoy the "Greatest 4th, 5th, & 6th Grade Girls Soccer Team" finishing out their season in the playoffs and their end of season soccer party; time to enjoy my son's and older daughter's soccer season finales; time to coach a couple of my men's soccer team games; time to get together with friends & family socially; and yes, believe it or not, time to enjoy going back to work; I even had a chance to enjoy the wonderful wedding of a couple of friends yesterday. Now this time is being interrupted by the reality of tomorrow's chemo start. But I've learned to cherish the good times and the times of normalcy during this respite. That indeed is pretty cool!

The other times that I've learned to enjoy more is the times of discovery. Lately, the times of discovery has a great deal to do with food. In the past week I've been able to try a few new things. Things tried were: beef, bacon wrapped scallops, mini crab cakes, Chilean sea bass (all of these at yesterday's wedding), barbecued chicken wings, baked beans (both of these at the work picnic), and Pepperage Farm's Verona cookies (a chance I took when comparing ingredients to other cookies I've been able to tolerate). I've grown to like cottage cheese, and peanut butter is starting to taste OK to me too. So the post surgical palette continues to expand. I hope that the cottage cheese will help carry me through chemo week & recovery week! I guess we'll see.

The other event to occur this week is "mapping." This is an event that has me going into the radiation office where I will be measured and locations for radiation targeting will be marked. I'm not sure, but I've been told that the marks are small tattoos. Basically dots are tattooed on you as markers for aiming the radiation beam. So it looks like I'll be joining the tattoo fad! I'll be just soooooo cool!

So this week looks to be a big week for me. It's the beginning of the final countdown of chemo treatments, the initiation of radiation treatments, and a time for more discovery. Oooops, sorry Toby, I guess that's looking at more than "one event at a time." Well, in light of that, let's just say that tomorrow starts chemo!

Remember, even when things seem mundane, appreciate it to its fullest, because ... Life is Good!

Friday with Dr. P2

On Friday October 31 (Halloween), I had the fortune of meeting with Dr. P2 the radiation oncologist to have some further discussions and consultations regarding the way forward. Dr. P is a very straight forward person who is willing to discuss the pros & cons of radiation therapy openly. He also has an affinity with me as we both are single (divorced), fathers of 3 kids, and about the same age.

Dr. P2 talked about the few studies regarding people with my type of cancer and that there is no clear cut path to take in the road forward. He spoke about other more common cancers and how they can almost be binned into protocols that are appropriate. However, with stomach/esophageal cancer, things are a bit more grey. There are recent studies that say that there is more success with chemo prior to surgery and then following surgery with chemo & radiation. Some that say other combos of chemo/radiation prior to surgery followed by chemo post surgery is preferred. And many more combinations of chemo, radiation, surgery sequences that can bring confusion to the appropriate way forward. Dr P2 explained the side effects, the amount of radiation, the duration of the treatment, and many more things that come into play. Then he looked at me and mentioned that I need to make the decision as to how I want to go about tackling the post surgery treatment.

Drum roll please!

I have decided that I will go forward with both chemo & radiation. This is in keeping with my approach of trying to do everything I can to beat cancer, and beat it handily. I admit that going through this treatment combo is not something that I am looking forward to. It will be tough and I'll probably feel like kaka again, but I feel I need to do it. It is my responsibility to finish this fight and do everything I can to get better. This is for me, my family (my kids especially), the people that I love, and for all my friends and colleagues that are supporting me through this adventure. I am determined to win this fight!

OK, here's some of the details (I'll try not to be too confusing here). Chemo will consist of 2 drugs instead of 3 as was happening prior to surgery. The 2 drugs are cicplatnum and 5FU (yep Ethel is coming back!). There will be 3 rounds of chemo: one round prior to radiation; one round mid way through radiation; and one round after radiation. Radiation will be administered 5 times a week, once a day. The treatment will be 5 weeks in length. Thus the math says that I will get 25 doses of radiation. The treatment will be aimed primarily at my abdomen area where the tumor used to reside to get rid of residual cancer cells that may have attached themselves to other parts of me. I'm guessing that the belly area may glow in the dark when all is said & done.

So this adventure continues with the chemo/radiation starting up again in the next couple of weeks. As I've said to Lori, Joan, TJ, Dave-o, Pete, Christy, Chris , my mom, and many of my friends, "we'll get through it." Here we go again! Life is Good!