For those keeping count, only 4 more radiation treatments. If the radiation machine does not go down, I'll be done on Thursday. Thanks for all the "chicken soup!" My motivation is back.
My buddy Dave-o came by the other day and said that he figured out the attitude I've shown during my cancer adventure. He declared it as the Stockdale Paradox. Here's how it is described:
Admiral James Stockdale was shot down in Viet Nam and imprisoned in the "Hanoi Hilton" for almost eight years. He was also its highest-ranking officer. How did he survive while others did not? "Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties." He adds, however, what distinguishes his position from simple "optimism" - and formulates what has become known as the Stockdale Paradox: "and confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."
This is the critical difference which guards against the endless disappointment that optimism’s carrots' evasiveness create - until, maybe, the reward in the end. On the other hand, an ability to continue making realistic assessments of one's current life situation measures and apportions one’s energies and reserves to better face each challenge as it comes, thus positioning one with a stronger chance to prevail.
- Fred Devett, Dec. 31, 2002
So basically, it is not optimism alone, but rather an attitude which assesses my situation while looking toward what my desired end result should be. Then setting out to accomplish the end result with a positive yet realistic attitude. Indeed I have tried to go through this adventure with integrity, courage and openness as well as a positive attitude. I have tried to use these traits as a way of taking and keeping control of a trying situation. I truly believe that these traits and a positive attitude have carried me through a great deal of what I have endured (with the help of a great many caring people). That and the advice Toby gave me of "Take one event at a time." So as the treatments are winding down in number, all I can say is that the "Stockdale Paradox" seems to have helped, and it is something I can carry through to many other parts of my life. It seems pretty cool to me that there is actually a formal name and explanation of the attitude I've tried to use/employ through this adventure. Hopefully, this might help others too!
Remember ... Life is Good!
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3 comments:
Steve,
You are an amazing person, and truly one of the most positive people I have ever met. I have no doubt that is the reason you have made it this far. You are so close to being done - think about it - you can count those radiation treatments on 1 hand now! Here's hoping that Thursday is the end and that you are onto bigger, better, healthier happier times! Keep that spirit going! You have been such an inspiration, as is clear from the comments, to everyone reading and commenting on this blog. People like you are truly are rarity in life and I feel so lucky to have you as a friend.
WOW! That is all there is to say. I think that, not only with your faith, desire and drive, you have also been blessed with the desire to bless others. Your courage, attitude and strength has been such an inspiration to all who know you and even those of us who don't. You have a lot more living to do, Steve.
Steve,
You are one of the handful of people in my life that has left a lasting positive impact. This daunting journey has only served to reinforce that influence. When I first heard of your illness, you cannot imagine how shaken I was to realize that one of my dearest friends was not immortal. Deluded with the thought that there is always tomorrow I had not made an effort to reconnect inspite the few miles between us. When I then heard that Joan & TJ had traveled back to DC and Dave and all those that hold you dear, were there to uphold and support you, I was releaved that you were not alone in this journey. How truely blessed are you, for the word "friend" does not begin to describe the deepest connections of love that exist in your circle to what many call "family" wish they had. In my times of trouble I look to your deep seated strength to remind me that nothing can prevail against the type of will you have displayed with the grace you have taught us all. You are truely, a remarkable man.
And just wait ....I have many Cuban meals waiting to fatten you up again.
Your friend from Chicago,
Jorge
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